Thursday, November 18, 2010

People Pleaser to the nth degree

People Pleaser: "A person who commits themselves to boosting the well-being of other people, even when doing comes at an emotional, physical, or economic expense."

What happens when you spend your life trying to be the person you think others want you to be, and more so, doing everything you can not to rock other people's boats? Well, unfortunately, it means you can't really allow yourself to be...uh, yourself. Rather than anger, disappoint, or upset others in any way, I learned a trick early on in life - keep my mouth shut. And the best way to do that for most of my life was to put food in it. Yes, as Reese Witherspoon's character said in Four Christmases, "I ate my feelings."

Since the excess weight I carried from junior high on was due to this emotional eating of mine, I'm not sure why I thought that at age 29 when I finally took off every bit of excess weight to get to (what I believe) the ideal weight God had in mind when I born, I was even more miserable. Wasn't I supposed to be elated and overjoyed because being thin meant being happy for the first time in my life?? Not so much.

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